Why I Write

If you’ve read my “about me,” then you’ve discovered the impetus for my newfound writing career (if I can call it that). Five months ago, I found myself in a downward spiral. I have a severe case of major depressive disorder and several anxiety disorders. I got to a point that I couldn’t handle life and had to be hospitalized for a short time. When I came out of the hospital, I was determined to begin recharging my life. The first step I took was to quit my job, which I loved but could no longer manage along with my illnesses. I’ve been working nearly a decade, and in the void that ensued, I began turning to hobbies I felt could provide me with a sense of stability and purpose. I have always had a love/hate relationship with writing, meaning that I love to write but usually hate what I write. However, within the first week after my return from the hospital, I decided just to begin to write. Writing, in turn, became a form of therapy for me (which I will detail in more posts later). For now, I will simply say that writing became a lifeline for me.

After quitting my job, I had a good bit of time on my hands. I began to help out at my husband’s family company to give myself something to do and to add a bit more income. But I had plenty of time to write. What resulted was a series of three novellas. I meant to complete just one novella, which I did from mid-September to mid-October. I then began a second novella, a companion piece, which I completed in mid-November (I had just learned about NaNoWriMo). I thought I was done writing, at least for the time being. That thought lasted one week. Then came the week of Thanksgiving and something happened: I had an idea for a third novella, an epilogue of sorts. I completed that work in just four days, averaging 7,000 words per day. Through that entire process, two months of just writing as much as I could, whenever I could, I found myself transforming. It wasn’t an automatic switch, but through those three works, I can see how my mindset has transformed. Five months ago, I would never have started a blog. Five months ago, I would never have admitted that I had been hospitalized with a mental breakdown (especially on something as open as the internet). Five months ago, I wouldn’t have been brave enough to submit my first novella to a publishing company.

I am so thankful for what writing has done in my life and to my life. Now that I am working more often, I have less time to write, but I am working on a novel (which has been such a painful process. It has not been nearly as easy as the first set of works.), and I have started this blog. I hope that I can provide some of the practical information that has helped me learn to become a better writer and some of the inspiration that has helped me through this process.


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